Jaylen Michaels

[cephalgia]

trleague.wikia.com/wiki/Jaylen_Michaels

So, 'sup. I've been working on this guy for a while now. He's actually one of the first characters ever put up on the Wiki, but I never got around to asking for critique until now. Hit me up.

"faggot" ~ Voltaire

"fuckin queer" ~ Shakespeare

[beckstar]

Jaylen sounds like a total bro and I love his team, Raoul Nuke especially. The fact that Goremann actually acts like a prehistoric creature is a wicked nice touch.

[deloye]

I like him, but I'm forced to wonder how you could transfer balls with the standard smartphone. You'd need an accessory for that, and with the required bulk I doubt it would sell well...

[Sariel]

I like him - he's not a Gary Stu at all, but definitely not an Average Joe. His profile isn't unnecessarily long and conveys a lot of information. Loving the uncommon Pokemon he's got on his team, too. Good character.

[cephalgia]

Oct 20, 2010 14:57:03 GMT -5 deloye said:

I like him, but I'm forced to wonder how you could transfer balls with the standard smartphone. You'd need an accessory for that, and with the required bulk I doubt it would sell well...

I think this might belong on a different thread? :3c

Regardless, thanks very much, guys!

[theclae]

I actually read this profile quite a while ago, and I have to say that I like the profile a lot. It's detailed, but not to the point that it distracts from what's necessary.

I particularly liked the fact that you were restrained with the whole Zapdos thing. I think it was an interesting plot element, and a Mary Sue would have gone further with it. You didn't, and that's great.

[deloye]

sorry its shit

[cephalgia]

I disagree

>save

Thanks very much sir

[deloye]

The hood and sweater need work. I the the body language and expression though, I think I did him justice

Also, I'm so lonely in IRC. y u do dis